The Crossover: Dora the Explorer in Mortal Kombat, FNAF Lore, and the Star Wars Ewok Debate

Transcript

You're listening to No Plot Only Lore, a podcast about games and the tables we play them at. Your DMs tonight and every

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Welcome back to No Plot Only Lore. The favorite podcast of Danny DeVito. Uh,

is it I could say that he's never going to hear it.

He could be one of our like seven listeners. I wish he was actually. I

I wonder. Okay. I I sometimes do wonder who those people are because like it isn't just our friends.

No, there's some weirdos out there. Email us. Email us

at Do we have an email address? Uh, yeah, we do actually, except it has nothing to do with no plot only, Laura.

It's just info@christopherhansen.com. Yeah, do that. Tell us why.

Tell us who you are. Yeah, cuz like we've gotten a couple of comments that have been fun. Uh, one of them, probably

my favorite was about the like huge segue that we did into the like top tier

beard game in One Piece. Oh yeah. Yeah. Just like kind of random that

somebody was like, "Yeah, that whole segue was great." And I was like, "Wow, you listened to that long."

That was in like the middle of the episode. I feel like segways are definitely our strong point. We just follow up is

tough. Yeah. Yeah. Getting back on track not really our strong suit. Um,

speaking of, um, we saw a thing that was pretty cute. I

saw a thing and then I inflicted it on you of Paddington Bear in Star Wars.

Uh, for the record, I hate Ewoks, so putting them putting them in like

Wellington's and a rain jacket is not an improvement. Um, I don't want them to be

part of Star Wars. I hate that Return of the Jedi became the Muppet movie. Um,

can Ewoks learn common? Like Galactic Standard or whatever the hell they call that language?

I believe they can. Interesting. Yeah,

we've never seen it. Uh, not in the movies. I believe it was

in the Ewoks animated TV show. Oh. Um,

don't quote me on that. Please don't quote me on that. Wait, was it Was it in the Christmas special? Did Ewoks talk in the Christmas

special? I don't believe they did. Okay, thank God. As if that's whole debacle

couldn't have gotten any worse. Putting a talking Ewok in there. I'm just like

imagining a talking Ewok with a cute little British accent like spreading

some marmalade on some toast. And that obviously they would be like Marmite,

not Marmalade kind of people because they're evil little demons. I love Ewoks so goddamn much.

And I realize that that makes me a bad Star Wars fan, but like

they were part of the reason that I learned to love Star Wars in the first place because of the little bear gremlins.

Because of the cute little bear gremlins and the one that like shakes his spear and is all like, "Yep, nub." Right? Like that

is burned into my consciousness. That phrase yubnub, which means nothing

other than like I threaten you, I guess. but also like come on. Yeah, it's this way.

No, that that phrase and that like specific scene of a silly Ewok character

uh threatening a human is the reason that I sat down and watched the rest of the movies

just because of Okay. Was it because of the Ewok or because Carrie Fischer was so charming while trying to deal with

this stupid little hell spawn? Okay.

I first saw Star Wars when I was like eight or nine.

Yeah. So, forgive me for the trespasses of my youth, but I really didn't like Leia.

Well, if you started watching Star Wars with the third one, then I can see that because you hadn't had the time to see

her, you know, in her strength and and as a and like partway through the third one,

too. So, I had no attachment to this character. She just seemed like kind of a weirdo. And I was like, why aren't you hugging the muppet?

I see an adorable teddy bear with a spear. The first thing I'm doing is hugging it until it like won't let me anymore by force.

Yeah. So you can see where like our instincts are wildly different. You encounter a strange beast in the wild.

You're like ah friend shape and don't recoil immediately. And Leia, the sane

general that she is, is like maybe don't pick up the tiny warrior that is threatening me. I'm three to four times

their size and he's threatening me. Maybe I should take a second.

But so friend-shaped. so friend-shaped. So, that got me started on this idea of like crossovers

and like a lot of times you see crossovers being like main characters getting put into another world and like

interacting with the main characters of that world. I don't want to do that. Okay. I I want to take a character from a

beloved children's franchise, okay? All Paddington Bear.

Okay. and I'm going to give you a not child franchise to put them into and I

want you to help me make sense of that and we're going to do it randomly. I have a d20 and I have two lists of 20

things that I have told you not to look at. So, I'm going to roll right now. It's been physically painful to resist.

Yes. So, uh the first option is 15. I have Lightning McQueen.

Okay. in Breaking Bad.

Oh. Um, okay. Lightning McQueen and Breaking

Bad and Breaking. Just like consolidate these things for me. G, give me cars and meth dealing.

Lightning McQueen uh transports meth to uh neighboring

states. Okay. And he's just like the only car that has

eyes for a windshield. Yeah, he's uh I mean, first of all, it cuts down on

costs immensely. Yeah. You don't have a driver. Yeah. Uh and because he's not beholden

to whoever happens to be strapped inside of him, he can execute more dangerous maneuvers should he need to outrun the

police. Um the downside is

that the supply is leaking into his gas tank which is his

the gas tank is his uh stomach.

Imagine the interactions between Lightning McQueen and Mike Urban.

Okay. Yeah, they would either have like the best

conversations or the absolute [ __ ] worst. I I can't figure out which one it

would be, though. Mike is the only person that Lightning will let ride inside of him.

Okay. I've always a little bit wonder like I know it's kind of like a a cliche conversation to have when Cars comes up,

but like if you open the door, does the brain fall out? No. Oh, the brain is in the trunk.

Oh, okay. Then where do you keep the meth? I guess in the gas tank. Um,

yeah, cuz I know that there was some like early concept art where they were

discussing like what the anatomy of the cars was. They don't need to. They super don't

need to do that. They really don't. But they did because it's Disney and because you got a bunch of creative people in the same room and

they were like, "Cool. Where's the organs? If we open up the back door, does like

an a giant pile of intestines come flopping out onto the floor?

Okay. So, yeah, I've seen some of that. Hold on. Yeah, hold on. I need to think about

this whole sentence for a second. So,

in in their preliminary sort of build of the car person,

is the engine still an engine? I don't have the answer to that

question, Josh. I was not on that team. Um, but I would assume that you could

probably put all the guts in the the hood of the car and consider that good.

Okay. But do they have guts or are they like animate mechanical objects? That's what I'm trying to figure out. Are they

I think that's what they were trying to figure out. Animals or machines? Yeah, I think that's what they were trying to figure out too through like

concepting is like if you open the doors, what happens?

Can they open the doors? Well, there was actually a bunch of conversations that they had to have about how the cars interact with stuff.

And one of the big conversations was, do they use their doors like hands?

I don't like that. Nope. Neither did anybody else. So, they

made it so that when they interact with objects, they just interact with them, right? There's there's no hands involved. They just kind of do the

thing. Okay. And uh better a little bit. Yeah. Like they just

handwaved it. Um or door waved it, I guess. Oh, don't don't.

Yeah, good times. All right. Uh, selection number two. I got number 16,

which is Bob the Builder. Okay.

How familiar are you with the Bob the Builder universe? Not intimately.

You know, he builds stuff. Yeah, I'm aware. Then you've got it. You got the He can build it. Yes, he can.

Yes. Uh, that gave me Breaking Bad again. So, we're gonna we're gonna reroll. Yeah. Okay.

Uh, Bob the Builder in The Last of Us.

Oh, that actually fits really well. Come to think. Yeah. I would say that guy is probably

just vibing in like one of the main settlements, right?

Yeah. And it's like thriving. Yeah.

Because like he he's the guy who can build like internal plumbing that works.

Yeah. Just because it does because again, can he build it? Yes, he

can. Yes, he can. Yeah. Fantastic. That that one was too easy.

Sorry. We're going to put The Last of Us back on the list because I I think that there are some other options here that

are better for it. Okay. Uh number nine, Curious George.

It kind of doesn't matter what we come up with for this because that he's great. Uh in Westworld.

Oh no. [ __ ] that [ __ ] monkey. [Laughter]

No. Was there a monkey in Westworld? No, I'm talking I'm talking about Curious George, but

Oh, okay. No, stop. Don't make me do that. Yeah. No, you got

uh Well,

is Okay, first question. I've only seen the first I've only seen the first season of Westworld.

Um, it's the only season that matters. Okay, so the monkey is for sure a host,

is it? Yeah. Yeah. Or do you have an actual monkey enjoying the Westworld thing?

I don't know. I don't like any of this. Rolls up with the man in the yellow hat

and they go to do some Westworlding. They go to do some Westworlding is a

Is that what they do in the show? They Westworld. Yeah. Yeah. You You go to Westworld, you

do some Westworld. uh west all over the world and then how stupid of me.

All right. So, if it is a host, okay, like it's pretty easy to put like a pet

monkey somewhere, I guess. But like Curious George isn't a pet monkey. No,

he's in fact a villain monkey. What do you have against Curious George?

I Okay, curious George frustrates me in a way that like, and

maybe this is just me and how I've been my whole life. I How do I explain this?

I don't like mischief or hijinks.

Okay.

I don't think you have ever said anything that I fundamentally disagree

with more about yourself on this podcast. You are a [ __ ] troll, sir.

Okay, shut up. What?

I can't breathe. Okay. What I What I mean is I shut up. I

I don't like when characters are just getting into trouble and being little

shits and that's driving the story. Okay. Okay. So, you're not a fan of Caillou?

No, I hate Caillou. I hate Curious George. I

Sorry, I understand how that came across now. Um,

I I am a um I don't say a troll, but I am a

mischievous person in a certain way. But I don't I don't get into trouble and I

don't The other thing that really frustrates me is when those characters actions cause damage.

Okay. Right. And when they cause I can see that you don't like break. No. And when other people are are inconvenienced by their actions. That's

one that really bothers me is when Okay. their actions like he's ruining

the the yellow hat dude's name day and

he there's no discipline, there's no comeuppance, there's nothing. It's just like, "Oh, oh, George or whatever. [ __ ]

that. That little monkey needs a spanking and to go to bed early without dessert."

So, destructive mischief is kind of where we draw the line on mischief.

and so I mean to to quote a movie what I

like are shenanigans okay right I can get behind that just yeah the the

way that you said that holy [ __ ] [ __ ] sent me god damn okay we need to get off

this there's there's another couple on here that I think are going to have a similar reaction from you so I am

preparing myself for that all right we got number 11 Dora the explorer

Uh-huh. In number 19, Mortal Kombat.

Oh no. Okay, I guess Dora is somehow

the [ __ ] How? She's trying to find a way to close off

Earth from Netherrem. Like, what the I don't know what the [ __ ] to do with this. Well, I mean, she's got to fight in the

tournament, obviously. Well, obviously she's got to fight in the Okay. Well, okay. What I see now is

is her and Boots teamed up like Ferrator, and she's just throwing that little monkey at people.

Fantastic. Um, I think there's Okay, so Dora the Explorer is an interesting

character for me for a few reasons. Like, not necessarily the way that she's depicted in her cartoon,

okay? But did you see the movie that they made? Yes. Written by Matthew Robinson.

It's so good. Like not not going to comment on why I know

the writer's name. It's not It's not a great movie. Yeah. But like I went into it with some

expectations derived from Dora the Explorer that were surpassed in ways that are

difficult to describe if you haven't seen the movie. Okay.

And I loved it. So like that Dora Dora from the movie would fit in almost any

franchise that involves like a mystery or any kind of adventure or any kind of

like exploration because it's in her [ __ ] name. Um very well and very

easily I feel if you're doing like she's just part of like the mystery

gang. She could be. Yeah. Or like Yeah. like set her up with Sonia and Jax as like

part of the cop squad that's trying to get down to the the bottom of the

tournament, right? And then get worked up into it. Like there's a lot of options there. Um but

yeah, if it's just like little kid Dora and little kid Boots and the [ __ ] map, uh

I'm the map. I'm the map. I'm the map. Her her fatality would just be that song

and it wouldn't kill your opponent. It would kill the parents in the room. No, her fatality is the map strangling

someone like just smothering them. Yeah, could do that. Or you could also

do like the map and the backpack singing their songs at the same time and their heads [ __ ] explode.

I watched way too much Dora the Explorer when Thor was a kid. I didn't watch any with my kids and I'm kind of regretting

it. But now it in my head I'm seeing her fatality being boots going just full

feral chimpanzeee and clawing the skin off of someone's face. Yeah, you can do that. You could do like

a stampede of all of her ridiculous cartoon animal friends like trampling on a person to a bloody

pulp. Oh yeah, she could be a real monster. Yeah. Yeah, she could be brutal. It it

would be like um what is that guy's name? The joke

character that they introduced that's like canon Ryu but like seems to be less

effective. The hell is that guy's name? Oh, from Street Fighter. Yeah. Uh I want to say Paul, but that's not

right. Maybe. Anyway, that guy, the one in pink ghee.

um like the joke character that ends up being it's Dan Dan. Dan

just like Sorry, I couldn't let that go. I knew who he was.

Yeah. Just like he he's he's kind of a joke. Yeah. When he comes out and then you realize

that like pros are able to take him to weird levels of effectiveness because

his kit is so niche. Yeah. And I could see the same being true for Dora the Explorer where he's just like,

I don't want to play the little kid character. She's [ __ ] dumb. She's just here for a joke. And then she turns out to be a [ __ ] monster.

Yeah. It's like when they had to ban Yoda from Soulcalibur because it turns out having a different hitbox is a super

duper big deal. Yep. Oh man. Yeah. And her hitbox would be so tiny. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Dora the Explorer breaking Mortal Kombat.

All right. We got number 17, Pippy Long Stocking.

Oh god, Pippy. Okay. Do you remember Pippy Longstalker? Yeah, vaguely. Um, it was a thing that I

like investigated as a child but kind of just dismissed and moved on from, but Okay. I feel like this one's just kind

of a gimme. It's a little e little easier than it maybe should be. Pippy Wongstalking in Red Dead Redemption.

Oh, all right. That's so easy. What the She just comes in on a pirate ship,

settles in a small town. Yeah, I don't even need your help for that one. God damn it, Dice. What are you doing? Give me the weird [ __ ]

Sorry. I'm I'm holding out for number six here. If we get number six, it's going to be a

good time. Number five. So close. Alice from Alice in Wonderland. Okay.

In Resident Evil, dude. She'd be so good there. Like the

kid the kid took the all of the strangers of Wonderland on the chin basically without question.

and was able to like outwit these,

you know, codra of weirdos that just kind of showed up and [ __ ] with her for no reason. I feel like

translate to zombie violence, though. Well, it depends which Resident Evil you're talking about. Like the new Resident Evil's probably not because

they're a lot more just like, ah, we're actually going to kill you. But the other ones were the old ones were kind of, you know, cartoony in a way, you

know, like if we're talking about like Jill Valentine era,

uh, Resident Evil, like Umbrella Core is just goofballs.

Yeah. And I guess there's a fair bit of like problem solving and stuff that Alice could maybe just like luck her way

through. Sure. Because that's like a huge part of Alice and Wonderland. Actually, one of

the reasons that I'm not really keen on that series is that for the vast

majority of it, she's a very passive protagonist. Like, she isn't like pushing for anything. She doesn't really

seem to have any goals other than like make it to the next scene. Um, yeah, that's fair.

But like, you put her in a situation where the goals are like literally survive the zombie apocalypse, and I

don't I don't know how she would fare in that. I mean, if you put her up against that

big ass vampire [ __ ] she probably lose so hot. But

I don't know. I I I don't like that Resident Evil got too real. Like these

new ones are just very like the old ones were were were they were horror, but they were horror in

like a campy way, right? And you feel like they went a little too gritty with it.

Yeah. Yeah, I I don't know. I'm not a horror fan as it is. So,

yeah, take my opinion with a grain of salt, but there's a lot of like

So, most of what my son is into video games wise

is like horror or horror adjacent. Okay. Where like Five Nights at Freddy's is

kind of like the the mast head. Sure. on this whole thing where it's just like it's

fun mascots, characters who occasionally show up and do a jump scare, but then it fades to

black and you don't have to deal with any of the like proper violence of it, right? Other than like descriptions of like

they take your body and stuff it into an animatronic suit, I guess.

I don't actually know any of the lore of Five Nights at Freddy's.

Could have fooled You know more than I do. Oh, okay. Um,

actually, let's see how much I do know about No, we're going to save that for another another episode. But I think I

actually know more about the lore of this series than I probably should. Two grown men discover the lore of Five

Nights at Freddy's. There's like novels and [ __ ] man. Like, what? Yeah, this franchise is huge.

A half dozen bad little jump scare puzzles. There's more.

Like two dozen and then books and a movie. And okay, I knew about the movie.

Deep lore. Um, I don't want deep lore. We're at the point where like I know

more about the Afton family than I would like to. The who?

The Afton family. The people who sacrificed their children to stuff them into the the suits for murder reasons, I

guess. Um, I'm not 100% clear on the the lore, but the fact that I even know the name the Afton family suggests that I

know more about this than I thought I did. The fact that you know there is lore. I thought it was just

five shitty like YouTube clickbait video games. No, no, it's uh it's huge and like kind

of a prototype for a bunch of other horror games that have come out recently. So, like um one that my kid

has been really into uh involves a bunch of the big names in um like streaming

being characters in the game sort of, but they're also like horror characters.

It's like a whole [ __ ] thing. Like it basically every horror game that's coming out that's aimed at kids right

now has to have like deep weird lore that almost always involves child murder.

This country's going to hell. Canada. Yeah, we [ __ ] it. We just

[ __ ] Canada right up. This is They were right. Like, let's

just start over. All right, so I got Elsa

from Frozen. Uhhuh. In Chernobyl.

Oh, she's used to There can't be that much of a difference between winter and nuclear winter.

Yeah, except we never actually got into nuclear winter, did we? Well, no, but I mean that's fine. It's

I guess Okay, all things considered, she's got snow powers just generally.

Yep. Right. That's what I'm thinking. Snow and ice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So,

she'll be fine in, you know, frozen tundra of Siberia or wherever the hell Chernobyl is. Um,

I think honestly going to use your power to cool down the core. Yeah, I'm saying this is this an opportunity for her to be a real hero.

Um, and not just like some selfish one who,

you know, annihilates her sister's boyfriend because she's jealous or whatever. Was she jealous?

Yeah, I guess she was. She I think she was like slightly jealous until she realized he was like

legitimately a bad guy. Also, if we can like rant for a second about the heel turn in that movie and how unbelievable

it was. I Yeah, that still bothers me how bad that was.

Like also the telegraphed bad guy being just kind of a [ __ ]

Yeah. Like like I understand children and I don't want my handheld the entire way to

discovering bad guys. There can be twists and turns, but for a guy to just like literally heal turn for no reason

at the last second just to be like mustache twirl, like get the [ __ ] out of

here. Give me some inkling that he has a motivation other than just like being a

[ __ ] Well, like there is a good motivation for him to be like manipulating

that character Anya. Sure. Is that her name? Yeah. But like that's

that's to become the king of Arendelle. Yeah. But that has to happen after he

marries her. Like what? Yeah. So you've got to keep that act up until she married.

Yeah. A lot longer than he did. That's for sure. I guess maybe because he realized that she was dying or whatever. He could just

say that they got married in secret or something. I I don't I don't entirely understand Frozen. I've watched that

movie so many goddamn times and I still I don't think I paid attention to it any more than once.

Yeah, that's fair. There's there's nothing wrong with it. I've seen

it a couple of times and been like, "Okay, whatever." It's just that that particular aspect of it really irked me.

Like, give me believable villains. Not all the time, but at least this one. And

with how much people were hyping the movie up, I think that's what annoyed me even more. Like this is that movie was like so [ __ ] hype for

no reason. Yeah, it was extremely mid. Okay, my biggest problem with that movie

is exactly the same problem that I have with Moana. Mhm.

Which is a colossal waste of Alan Tudyk. Oh well, everything that's not being

that [ __ ] murder robot from Star Wars is a waste of Alen Tudic. just like you

have him being the bad guy in Frozen to begin with, like this guy with like the

trade negotiations or whatever, and then he's dealt with with a handwave, and we

never have to worry about him again, and then he's the [ __ ] chicken.

The chicken was brutal. That was just an absolute waste of time. Like, I get that's an easy payday,

right? Like, good on you, Allan, for like picking up that job where you had

to go in and make some chicken noises for a couple of days. I [ __ ] get it, man. He did have to tolerate The Rock for a

while. Not even though like I guess for like the press tour or whatever, but was he

even really involved in the press? No, not really. But I mean, I have to assume that he's just kind of around and

annoying. I just like I have to assume that the reason that they cast Alan Tudy

to be the [ __ ] chicken is because they just wanted to work with him. Like he seems like a chill enough dude that they wanted to have him in the booth for

a couple of days and hang out. They just they needed a reason to give him money so that he could come hang out with

them. There's a great anecdote about um Have

you ever seen Regular Show? Uh I'm familiar with it, but I haven't seen it. Okay, so they did a pilot for

Regular Show and they had all of their friends cast as like the main characters. And when they finally get it

to Cartoon Network, Cartoon Network is like, "Look, we like what you're doing, but you need to have auditions for all

of the roles, right? Cuz there are probably some bigname actors with like some draw that we could use to like pull

people in because we can't just make these things for fun. We need to make some money." Yeah. And so like the the creator JG

Quinnell is pretty sure that he's going to be using the cast that he already has

until Mark [ __ ] Hamill walks into the booth and he's like, "Oh, wait. I can work

with Luke." Yeah. He's like, "Shit, that's Mark Hamill. I can work with Luke. I can work with the Joker." Right. Like I This is

the only person who's walked in here so far that I'm kind of starruck by. If I was his friend, I'd be like, I get

it. Like Yeah. Right. like I don't need to be. [ __ ] cut me out. Throw throw Luke in

the ring, right? Give the man a chance. So they they audition him and he kills

it, but he isn't right for the role. And so they wrote him a new role.

Perfect. That's what you do because that's what you do when Mark Hamill walks into your [ __ ] booth for

anything. You just make up a new thing for him to be. Yeah. We will figure it out. We're casting him. Get in here. Yep. Um, all

right. So, it's not on the list, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Okay. Uh, Luke Skywalker in Dune.

Oh my god. Two guys with a Messiah complex in the same movie.

Mhm. Uh, first of all, which house would he be

affiliated with? I I want to say he'd be like part of a

spacers guild or something insane, but because I I'll be honest.

Yeah, I'm not familiar enough with like weirdo Dune houses other than like at

Trades and [ __ ] Haronean, which No, that's fair. Can we talk for a second about how like

their own show pronounced Haronan wrong? Harkinan? Yeah, there's a lot of things

wrong with Dune Prophecy, but pronouncing it hearkinin is just unforgivable.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It It's one of those madeup words, right? Like

all words are made up. Yeah, but these words in particular don't apply to anything that's real.

Like there there are no hearkinins. There are no real to me. Yeah, but like

the the pronunciation did did Herbert ever like give a pronunciation guide for

I Okay, so I believe that the original audiobook actor because it was one guy

got pronunciation guides for everyone. Okay. and in including like concepts

like the quez hot rock and weird names like thufur howit

stupid [ __ ] name yeah uh per deise guys like that right

who just have weird names I see I never pronounced per I always pronounced it per

again like I when I saw it I said tighter because I

firmly believe that there is actual structure to the English language despite all the other evidence to the

contrary. Um, literally all of it. Yeah. Yeah. And so I I feel like I mostly get

it right usually. I I feel like with that name in particular, I defaulted to a Russian

pronunciation. I suppose I couldn't tell you why. Why would you pronounce it Peter then?

Peter Per.

Yeah, like Mater per Well, I tell you

to perpeter. Here to Was he a me? I can't remember.

But yeah, you know that. Yeah. I'm here to do complex equations in my

head. This is This episode is devolving into

us ADHD warbling at each other with weird bad accents. Okay, I think we're done.

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